Lessons from Lois: The Impact of a Godly Mother (or Grandmother)
A sermon by Phil Christensen on Mother's Day 2004
It's unusual for a woman other than Mitzi to be on my mind, but that's been exactly the case this week. I've been thinking about...Margaret.
My mom! She's 87 years old now.
Some of you are undoubtedly thinking, "87. But Phil, you're so young - she must have been in her sixties when she had you!"
To that, I can only say, my mom is a remarkable woman.
She's visited CHEF several times, and loves this ministry. You've made her feel very much at home here, and I appreciate that.
On this Mother's Day, I've been pondering what I learned from my mom. Her influences seem to have fallen into two different camps.
First, there were the obvious kinds of lessons, ones she deliberately taught. She pointed me, above all, to God's Word and to His Son, Jesus Christ. She knelt with me when I was 6 years old as I asked Jesus into my heart. Before I was ten, she gave me my first King James Scofield reference Bible! I can still rattle off all 66 books of the Bible in 30 seconds or less.
She gave me a love for literature and poetry. Twain and Poe were regulars in our house. I had a crush on Becky Thatcher until I was 12.
Mom taught me to love good food, and how to make a great sandwich. She taught me to speak in complete sentences and look people in the eye. She gave me a love for humor. She taught me to honor leaders.
But there was another kind of lesson, too; a kind of influence that was largely unintended.
I'll explain. Mom was born on a farm in Washington State. When she was only seven years old, her mother simply walked away from her family.
That left her dad to run the farm, raise the kids, tend the garden and hunt for meat. It couldn't be done.
He gave my mom to a neighbor to raise. He paid some support for a few months, but that ended quickly, and he disappeared. By the time she was nine, both of mom's parents had pretty much washed their hands of her.
The neighbors that took her in were Herman and Annie. Proud, German atheists! They were rough as a corncob, but they treated mom like a daughter. Mom has quoted Annie all her life. Herman made violins; one year he made one especially for her, and she still treasures that instrument like a Stradivarius.
Bundled up in tattered hand-me-downs, dragging a family scandal behind her, I don't suppose people expected much of Margaret.
What people expected didn't much matter, because Mom just kept smiling and rising to the top. Her 4.0 point average made her the star of her two-room school house. Teachers kept moving her ahead and at age-16, she graduated from high school at the top of her class!
A local businessman snatched her right up, gave her a great job, and threw in room and board.
The only fellow in the community smarter than him was my dad, who married her a year later.
I pass along this story because it's an important "lesson from Margaret." Though mom was abandoned by her own parents, she never displayed any sign of bitterness or any kind of emotional scarring.
Instead, she's always spoken of her father with a hushed reverence as if he were distant royalty!
This subject always makes Mom cry - but not for the reasons you might think. She says, "I don't know why God has always been so good to me. I don't understand why He's always surrounded me with such wonderful, generous people."
You'd hardly know bad things have befallen her. She's endured cancer. She has a daughter who won't speak to her. She nursed my father through a terminal illness and buried him. She delivered a still-born child.
Yet - throughout these hard things - she's been completely confident that God is working all things together for good.
I'm glad she taught me to love literature, but any inspiring 3rd grade teacher could have done that.
What she gave me I could never repay.
Her life has constantly reflected a deep trust that God is powerful and personal. I couldn't help but love a God like that. I couldn't help but spend my life declaring His glory. And as a bonus gift, she convinced me that His kindness was reflected in the faces of people around me.
A mother can put impressions on a heart that the roughness of life can never erode.
Transition into God's Word
Influence. Scripture has much to say about our impact on others. Jesus starts the process Himself!
"I have given you an example that you also should do just as I have done to you." (Jesus speaking in Jn. 13:15)
Teachers then carry the privilege and responsibility of being role models.
"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." (Paul in I Cor. 11:1)
And that task is passed right down to their disciples.
"Set the Believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." (I Tim. 4:12b)
Until ultimately, every Lover of God is called to declare His glory to those within their influence...
"One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts." (Ps. 145:4)
God's sovereign intention is that the baton of faith be handed off from age to age. In this holy "hand-off," the role - the influence - of a Godly mother is immense. The hand that rocks the cradle DOES - in a very real way, rule the world.
Abraham Lincoln wrote simply,
"No one is poor who has a Godly mother." (Lincoln)
I love what Evangelist DL Moody said:
"All that I have ever accomplished in life, I owe to my mother." (Moody)
(switch these in Power Point to match notes)
Today is Mother's Day - it's a time we set aside to thank God for the precious gift of moms, and honor you dear mothers and grandmothers. It's my privilege to lead us to a beautiful passage in Paul's 2nd letter to Timothy. We're in Chapter 1, verses 1-8. That's page (1279) in the red Bibles. Can we stand together in reverence as we read God's Word?
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God according to the promise of the life that is in Christ Jesus, to Timothy, my beloved child: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or me, His servant. (2 Tim. 1:1-8)
OPENING PRAYER:
Lord, we submit ourselves to Your Word, this nugget of truth about how Timothy was influenced by two women of faith. We thank You, Master, for the Godly women You've strategically positioned in our lives to point us to You.
Lord, we recognize that not every influential woman is called to be a mother. And we also know that not all mothers have wisdom. I can't address these this morning, but I ask You to minister beyond my simple words. Transform us by Your Word and by Your Holy Spirit. Above all, teach us to cooperate with you to influence those around us for Your Kingdom.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
We've just read the opening words of a letter Timothy, received from his mentor, the Apostle Paul. Timothy, a young pastor, is serving at the Church of Ephesus. Paul is writing, chained in the Roman Mamertime prison - just across the street from the Roman Senate - and his execution is at hand.
As it turns out, this brief letter is Paul's "swansong," his last recorded words. To the end, he is mentoring, challenging - reminding Timothy of his call. One metaphor gives way to another.
"Timothy - I've run the race, I've fought the good fight, but now I'm about to be poured out like a drink offering. What you've learned from me - teach to others. I'm handing off the baton to you!"
To Paul, Christianity isn't just a nice religion. He's consumed with a sense of purpose and destiny!
"This ONE THING I do!" Paul knows that his gospel is the antidote to death! He carries the life-giving serum of truth that can rescue men and women from an eternity in the dark abyss. As he passes his mantle to Timothy he's reminding him of his heritage:
"I know that you're burning with the same fire that empowered your Grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice." Lois and Eunice.
We don't know a lot about these women, but do know that Lois and Eunice are not anything like moms from a 1950's Sitcom. Both mother and daughter were Jewish, but had married Greek husbands. Scholars gather, from text and tradition, that Lois was widowed; her daughter Eunice's husband had likely abandoned her, along with young Timothy.
This Mother-Daughter team probably lived together. It's easy to picture Grandmother Lois teaching Timothy during the day, while Eunice worked outside the home to provide a living.
This struggling - fractured - little family had apparently responded to the good news of the Gospel when Paul was passing through Lystra on one of his missionary journeys.
But when Paul returned to Lystra several years later in Acts, we're told he was so impressed with Timothy - now all grown up - that he took the young man along with him on the road. Timothy became Paul's missionary partner and intern.
What impressed Paul about the faith Lois - and Eunice - had woven into Timothy? From our passage, I think we can draw 5 "Lessons from Lois." Five characteristics of excellent motherly/grandmotherly influence. Let's explore them one at a time.
The Influence of a Godly Mom (or Grand-mom)...
She imparts sensitivity
A Godly mother can impart sensitivity to a child. In verse 4, Paul mentions Timothy's tears the last time they parted ways. So many men are too "strong" to cry, but that wasn't a problem for Timothy.
Where did he learn this kind of tenderness? Likely from Lois and Eunice, named in the following verse.
Paul was so fond of Timothy that he called him "my beloved son." If Timothy - as it seems - lacked a dad in the home, then this expression is particularly meaningful. Paul was his father-figure.
It's largely mothers, though, that build tenderness into kids. And Timothy had two!
Chuck Swindoll writes this...
"Isn't it interesting that if we had a chance to state what we learned from which parent, most of us would say we learned tenderness from our mother and diligence from our dad? From dad, we discovered the value of a dollar, the necessity of hard work and the significance of honesty, the importance of standing alone when everything or everyone seems to turn against us. But we learned transparent tenderness from our mother!"
Charles Swindoll, Growing Wise in Family Life
It was our mothers we turned to when we were hurt...or needed a hug...or a shoulder to cry on.
Moms, thank you. Thanks for being sensitive and tenderhearted!
Please keep it up. We have enough "tough guys" in the world. We could use a few more "tender guys." People who are sensitive to the needs and feelings of others.
Teach us.
She imparts spirituality
The second area of influence we see is that of spirituality. In verse 5, Paul speaks of Timothy's "sincere faith," that came from Lois and Eunice. Moms, don't ever underestimate your influence on out faith.
Let's go back to something we'd considered earlier. Lois was a literate Jew, and she apparently had access to a Torah - the Law of Moses.
Yet...she married a Gentile, and even gave her Jewish daughter a Greek name. Eunice herself married a Greek, and was now raising an uncircumsized boy. These two women knew how far they had fallen from the Law of Moses. They were damaged goods, bad Jews living in a Greek city...
The "good news" of Jesus Christ must have sounded mighty good to them. Think of it...
? God had a place for them...even though they'd broken the Mosaic law? Yes!
? The promises of God to Abraham could still be theirs? Yes!
? Even half-breed, uncircumsied Timothy could have a place in God's family? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Because they learned it wasn't about their ability to keep the law! It was about what Jesus had done!
I can imagine Lois teaching Timothy about the exodus from Egypt - and then explaining that Jesus delivers us from the bondage of sin and death.
Or Eunice telling Timothy the amazing stories about King David, and then completed those with the greatest Story ever told: That the Son of David - Jesus Himself - would one day reign forever and ever.
I can picture them teaching the boy about the sacrificial offerings. And then explaining - with excitement - that Jesus was the Great Lamb of God. Once-for-all, He took away the sins of the world!
At the dinner table, surely They obeyed the Shema of Deuteronomy 6: "And you shall teach these things diligently to your sons and daughters when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up..."
Timothy learned his "sincere faith" from that mother-daughter tag team. Theirs was a faith born of gratitude for a second chance.
That word "sincere" means, literally, "without a mask." Un-hypocritical. Not the kind of Christianity you "put on" on Sunday, but the kind you ARE all week long.
CHEF's Sunday School, Awanas, Christian Schooling, these things can give your children Bible truths...but parents have the privilege of translating these truths into real life.
Mitzi does something wonderful for our kids. She apologizes to them when she's over reacted, or been overly harsh. It's a simple act, but it shows them what repentance and humility looks like.
Third, she imparts strength
A mother also imparts strength. Paul goes on in verse 7 to remind Timothy that his faith has been given a "spirit of power." That word is dunamis - our English word for dynamite comes from the word. Timothy was strong and reliable. A dynamite leader. The passage hints that he may have been intimidated sometimes, but Paul encourages this young Christian leader to stand strong.
Moms, you can do so much to build confidence in your children. Affirm and reaffirm them. Assure and reassure them that you believe in them, and raise up children who are strong and confident.
My mom had a hot button, a word that made her temper flare: It was the word "can't." When I was learning a task - tying shoes or putting my fingers on a guitar neck - I knew better than to say, "I can't!"
She would answer back, "YOU CAN, AND YOU WILL!"
So I did. I'm thankful for that lesson.
In my early days as a pastor, I was bi-vocational. I worked full time to subsidize the ministry and support my family. A business owner asked me to consider managing his office and keeping books for a mid-size company.
During the interview, he described the things I'd be doing: Payroll and taxes for 30 people, issuing invoices, tracking receivables, handling the checkbook, job-costing, negotiating lines of credit. Being liaison with a CPA.
He asked me directly, "can you do this?"
Mom's voice rang in my ear: "you can, and you will!"
So I told Erv, "Give me a couple of weeks to learn the ropes, and I'll do a good job for you."
At the end of five years, I was proud of the clean set of books I handed over to the next fellow. I also had a good testimony with our vendors and customers.
God graced me with wisdom and ability for that task, but He also provided me with a mother who refused to entertain the word, "can't."
When our young people defend God's creation in a biology class it takes confidence. When they gather round the flag-pole for prayer as the school buses drop off their peers, it takes confidence.
We have children for such a short time. I hope we're not satisfied raising children that are just "compliant." Kids who are compliant with their parents can be equally "compliant" with their non-christian peers, or an ungodly boss. To stand like steel in the midst of a jelly-fish culture, our kids need strength.
Mom, that little one was formed in your body, but it's your words that will help her grow a backbone.
Fourth, she imparts selfless love.
Paul goes on to speak of a faith characterized by love. Moms model agape love. Others-centered love. Self sacrificing love. I made Mitzi a business card a few years ago.
Call Only During Business Hours: Sunrise to Sunrise
Mitzi Christensen
Homemaker, Educator, Director of Child Development, Custodian,
Transport Specialist, Decorator, Chef, Gardening and Landscaping,
Beauty Queen, Construction Engineer, Time Management Expert,
Budget Director, Songwriter, Singer, Comedienne
We could print business cards for every mom here. It's wonderful to ponder that this kind of self-sacrificing life is motivated entirely out of a mother's love for her family.
And yet, it doesn't come without cost.
Do you remember the story of the Velveteen Rabbit? It was about a stuffed rabbit that became very real to a little boy.
I'll read from that book: "Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real, you can't be ugly...except to people who don't understand."
Does this describe some of you? You may feel a little worn out and ragged, but that's just proof of your love and being loved.
Thanks, Moms, for your self sacrificing love.
Fifth, She Imparts Self Control
Finally, DISCIPLINE - SELF-CONTROL. A SOUND MIND.
Timothy was a good leader - in part - because he was a disciplined person. He exercised self control. Where do you suppose he learned that? Likely at home.
Moms - we need to be consistent with our discipline, so our kids can know the difference between right and wrong. They need to associate "wrong" with unpleasant consequences.
As a teen, I made a long distance call from a payphone. Because I didn't want my parents to know about it, I charged it to a false phone number and made up a fictitious name. I said I was "Ted."
When I walked in the door that afternoon, my mom met me with the words, "Hi, Ted." I don't know how she found out, but I wasn't Ted, I was dead. And I never pulled a stunt like that again!
Who hasn't agreed with Dorothy Nolte's words?
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to feel shy.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel envy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
BUT...
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns patience.
If a child lives with praise, he learns appreciation.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal.
If a child lives with sharing, he learns generosity.
If a child lives with honesty, he learns truthfulness.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with kindness and consideration, he learns respect.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and in those about them.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live.
CLOSING STORY AND THOUGHTS
In her book, Call to Love, Linda Riley tells the story of an aspiring missionary. From the time she was a little girl, she had a deep love in her heart for the people of India. She longed to serve them and tell them the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Instead of marrying, she immersed herself in training and deputation. When she landed in India, she felt she was truly home, and simply went to work.
Within a short time of arriving, however, she received a shocking emergency letter. Back in the states, her sister and her brother-in-law had been killed in an automobile accident. The letter contained a plea for her to return home and care for their three orphaned children.
She did so, and relinquished her heart's desire. Instead of sacrificing for India's poor, she instead sacrificed her life-long dream and became a single, working mother to three grieving children.
She loved them tenderly, and they grew to love her. They grew to love her God. They also grew to love her beloved India. Today all three are grown...and are serving with their families as missionaries in India.
Saint - whether you are Jew or Greek, male or female, bond or free, God has given you areas of influence.
He doesn't call you to be fabulous, just faithful.
And if He's placed children in your hands, treasure the brief time they're young and impressionable. The clay, friends, is only soft for a season.
